Before I had Freddie I had this idea of what parenting was going to be like.
It was going to be a calm, zen, natural and peaceful experience for all involved!
Yeah I see my parents at the back there laughing at me because they know it didn’t exactly go that way from the get go…
My fully detailed birth plan involving a water birth went out the window as I had to have an emergency c section as his heart rate was too low. Should have known from then that he was going to be a little shit who doesn’t listen to what he’s being told to do…
After I had him I desperately wanted to breastfeed because I thought if I didn’t I would be an awful mum. And I ended up breastfeeding him for a year which I’m incredibly proud of but that year was really quite painful and hard for me. We went 9 months with him having a tongue tie which meant multiple boob infections for me and lots of crying.
And then it’s like as soon as he turned 1 the zen and peaceful attitude on all parts was out the window… Throwing toys and having tantrums about stupid shite like his duplo not fitting in the crack of the cupboard door properly and lobbing his biscuit at my head and then getting upset that he doesn’t have a biscuit to eat… Me sobbing on the balcony necking a bottle of voddy and shouting at random passers by that their gorgeous little babies will grow up to be arseholes… Yeah you get the message!
I’d like to tell you it gets better from here but erm, well I’d be sort of lying. Of course it becomes your new normal (not the balcony thing, only happened the odd time!) and one thing parenting does do is lower your expectations so if you get through the day with only 9 tantrums and 3 biscuits stuck in your hair then it’s a good day and life is fab!